The more I experience life, the more I appreciate the unexplainable. I’ve been trying to teach Francois some of the nuances of the love I feel for my wife. Not an easy task, especially when explaining to an 18-year-old Rwandan boy from the village that’s never experienced love.

When he asked me what it’s like to love Ilea, I said, “I could spend the whole night explaining the things I love about her, but I could not explain what I feel in my heart. It’s unexplainable, beyond my words”. This resulted in hours of conversation that has continued since.

The love I feel for my wife is not something I have the ability to articulate in its entirety. If Shakespeare struggled with it, I doubt I’m going to nail it. I don’t have the words to encapsulate it.

The feeling I get from sitting on the beach, overlooking the Indian Ocean with Africa as the backdrop is more magnificent than I could ever describe. When Francois chooses to serve someone else for no other reason than him seeing a need and wanting to help, I am overwhelmed with joy and gratitude that I am a part of his journey.

Seeing a pregnant mama, knowing that she is choosing to grow a little human inside her womb; that is unexplainable. It’s beauty at it’s purest.

The feeling I get after a hard day of work or a finishing a major project is something I value above most all other feelings. The feeling of understanding your purpose, fulfilling your calling and serving others is more profound than I can explain.

The miracle of how we were created, unique in every way. The way someone can live as profoundly and powerfully as the likes of Mandela, Maya Angelou, Gandhi, Mother Theresa and Bono; that is beyond explanation.

In my experience, the greatest things in life are the ones we have the most difficulty explaining. Francois had a hard time understanding that at first. He wanted to know why. How does that make sense? I explained that it doesn’t have to make sense at all. The true gift is when we can recognize the beauty in something that is beyond explanation.

When you can recognize the beauty in the unexplainable, you’ve found something truly extraordinary. I find it in my relationships with my wife, with Francois, my family, the ocean, Africa, the stars, the moon and in serving others.

It is no longer my desire to figure everything out or find a way for A + B to = C. I’ve learned to appreciate the unexplainable beauty in life. There is a great peace that comes from that. And from that, I find more joy than I ever did from trying to quantify and reconcile life.

There is great beauty is in the unexplainable.

The proliferation of the internet has resulted in a substantial increase in worldwide accountability. Big industries can’t get away with sweatshop labor as easily as before. Tyrannical dictators are being tracked down. Famines are being addressed. We’re watching now. And we’re empowering the masses. I’m grateful for this increasing phenomenon.

However, this dynamic also intimidates a lot of people out of speaking up. They feel like someone has said it better already or that they may say the wrong thing and then be humiliated online.

All of these aspects of modern life can influence people to keep quiet. “I am sure someone is already addressing this problem. What could I possibly have to offer?” Or, “If I say the wrong thing, I may get in trouble.”

But the worst fear people face is that of responsibility. If you speak up, we expect you to act.

Martin Luther King said it best when he said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

Carmen De Monteflores, a Puerto Rican author/psychotherapist said, “Oppression can only survive through silence”. This is especially true in areas where people are taught from birth that they are to keep silent, no matter what. That rule of silence has kept their people powerless and oppressed for decades.

Our friends at Invisible Children have broken that habit of silence on a level that is nothing short of profound. They liberated thousands of youth across the world and got them in the habit of speaking up for what they believe in. I believe wholeheartedly that IC’s contribution to breaking the silence is just as powerful (if not more) as what they’re doing to apprehend Joseph Kony.

Do your homework, educate yourself and speak up. Don’t let “oppression survive through silence”. As a caring human being, you have a responsibility, and an opportunity (don’t forget that) to be a changemaker. You have that kind of power. It’s your choice to use it, or not. Either way, you’re making a choice.

And just like what we’re witnessing with IC, there is power in numbers. But it’s important to remember, each one of the youth that make up this revolutionary campaign had a moment where they questioned themselves but ultimately made the decision to speak up. That’s how movements begin.

I’d rather try to help and fail than fail to try at all. If nothing else, I’ll learn something that will help me be more effective the next time.

In 1927, the Grand Council of American Indians made a statement about the colonization of America by “the white man”. Today we would call it “development”.

“The white people, who are trying to make us over in their image, they want us to be what they call “assimilated”, bringing the Indians into the mainstream and destroying our own way of life and our own cultural patterns. They believe we should be contented like those whose concept of happiness is materialistic and greedy, which is very different from our way.

We want freedom from the white man rather than to be integrated. We don’t want any part of the establishment, we want to be free to raise our children in our religion, in our ways, to be able to hunt for fish and live in peace. We don’t want power, we don’t want to be congressmen, or bankers… we want to be ourselves. We want to have our heritage, because we are the owners of this land and because we belong here.

The white man says there is ‘freedom and justice for all’. We have had “freedom and justice”, and that is why we have been almost exterminated. We shall not forget this.”

I’ve studied the history, culture, customs and ultimate plight of the American Indian since I was a young child. It’s in my blood and part of my heritage. It’s a heritage I am proud of.

It’s also a lifestyle that I find myself continually searching for in the modern world. Such a pure and beautiful way of living, untainted by the addictions to materialism and power that drive so much of society today. I would give anything to go back to the way of the American Indian. It’s something I continue to study and discuss in my daily life.

Europeans began colonizing the Americas in the 1500s. Since then, they have eliminated an estimated 19,000,000 American Indians and made a mockery out of their culture. Today, there are a mere 500,000 American Indians estimated to live in the United States, most of which are relegated to resource deprived reservations.

The American Indian culture has been mocked and commercialized ever since, culminating with the celebration of Thanksgiving. The culture, as it was, no longer exists in America.

Take a moment to imagine what America would look like today if Europeans had collaborated with, rather than annihilated the American Indian and their culture.

As I continually study development and philanthropy, I can’t help but see similarities in the past destruction of the American Indians in the current development of Africa (and other developing areas).

I pray that the west does not stamp out the unique culture and art of Africa, but that they would keep it sacred and flowing. I pray that Africa is not so seduced by the glamour and fame of the west to the extent that they trade in their souls for power and money. I pray that philanthropist, missionaries and aid workers alike would cherish the beauty of the ways of Africa, and keep them pure.

As you strive to do more good in the world, especially in Africa, I encourage you remember what happened to the American Indians and learn from the mistakes of those that came before us. This is a chance for a new start. A chance to preserve the heritage, culture, art and beauty of such a diverse continent.

This is a time to replace the quest for power, control and money with the way of love, creativity, peace, uniqueness and ubuntu.

Let us keep her sacred, lest we loose another irreplaceable contribution to the beauty of this world.

In 1931, freelance writer James Truslow Adams developed the concept of the “American Dream”. It was built on the idea that every person, regardless of their race, creed, financial status or nationality, would have the opportunity to live a “richer, fuller life” and manifest their wildest dreams, no matter how outlandish. America was positioned to be the Promise Land; the place where dreams come true.

This was certainly an honorable dream worth fostering. However, over time, the dream morphed into something more soul-less and self-serving. The quest for an egalitarian society where everyone’s dreams are possible has been replaced with an insatiable quest for more money, fame and immortality.

Generations later, Americans (and many other societies) are realizing that they’ve spent their whole life chasing money, trying to stop time, conforming to the status quo and collecting achievements. But none of it has brought them the fulfillment or happiness they were seeking.

Technology has provided us with the ability to be more connected with humanity, but thus far, that technology remains largely focused on the pursuit of money, power, self-indulgence and achievements. Businesses and governments thrive on selfishness, excess and fear. It’s so pervasive that most of us fail to even notice it anymore.

But I believe we still crave, and ultimately need true human connection. If we strip away the fear and create an environment of love, I believe we will see humans become human again. Ultimately, we have to get back to a place where human connection and relationship trumps the desire for hording money, time and achievements.

The American Dream is continually in a state of self-destruction. I believe we can foster a more altruistic and egalitarian dream for all of humanity. Something we can collectively work towards, support each other and hold each other accountable to.

This is the beginning of a manifesto. One I intend to expound upon and proliferate. It’s not a completed work, just the beginning.

It’s what I want to contribute to. It’s not an idea. It’s not a set of rules, laws or a code. It’s something I believe in. It describes the way in which I am committed to living. Nothing more, and nothing less.

THE EXTRAORDINARY DREAM

We dream of an egalitarian society, centered on love, fostering peace. 

A society free from the clutches of fear or habit of judgment, where relationship and human connection trump time, achievement, comfort and money, no matter the circumstances. 

Our thoughts and choices manifest our reality. A change in our perception can open our eyes to miracles. 

We live our life and our works as art. Everything we do, we do with care. We cannot fail, because there is no end. 

Humanity and the earth are one. Our actions are forever interconnected. Each of us is a collective of the souls that have touched ours. 

Our purpose is to exemplify and proliferate unconditional love in all we do.

I long for an egalitarian society that values relationship over all else. Yes, it’s idealistic, but I’ve come to embrace that perspective. We live in a world where the impossible is very often proven possible. I don’t believe it’s probable, but I do believe it’s possible. And that’s how it starts.

What is the alternative to pursuing this dream? Do nothing? Do worse? Do what you’ve always done, expecting something different? What do you have to lose if you try? You’ll likely lose your status quo membership, but that was boring anyway.

What aspect of your life will you deem to be more important than pursuing this dream? It all sounds like a good idea, but its easy to label this thinking as idealistic. And that makes it even easier to opt of doing anything truly extraordinary.

I’m not starting a movement or asking anyone to follow me. That sounds fun but it’s not my point.

If you want to bring this dream into fruition, just live it. Right now, wherever you are, every second of every day. It’s a lifestyle, not a project. Anything less won’t work.

Fortunately, every changing second presents the opportunity to start again even better than before. Every second is a new opportunity to create and live your Extraordinary Dream. Godspeed.

As children, we believe anything is possible. Our vision is clear; our hearts are pure. Our creativity knows no bounds. Our primary concern is to experience and share love with our family and friends. We are not limited by the need for fitting in. We are not governed (or limited) by a desire to collect money or achievements.

It’s a pure and beautiful instance in our lives.

As the years pass, society teaches us that this lifestyle is irresponsible, reserved for toddlers and misfits. The creativity that once drove us to creating whimsical works of art and cardboard castles worthy of King Arthur quickly becomes a liability in the work place.

We’re taught to play it safe. The educational systems teach us to color inside the lines, obey, follow the rules and strive for a steady position in the status quo. We are must conform and strive for pragmatism.

Life’s focus turns from relationships and wild dreams to the pursuit of riches and a lifelong mission to fill your CV with achievements and awards.

We are taught to be cautious and never to be naïve. Don’t be an idealist. Don’t take risks. Comfort and convenience should quickly replace whimsy and the drive for a better quality of life.

This is a reality that we all have experience with. It’s part of the fabric of the western, developed world. Some of us consistently fit it; others spend their lives defying it.

I do believe there is a fine line between bravery and naivety, however. Fair enough. Walking that line is viewed as reckless and irresponsible. Why take the risk of failing? What will people think if you’re wrong?

Conversely, one could argue that the line between naivety and bravery is where the extraordinary is most often unearthed. It’s where innovation happens. We must dare to fail in order to discover new ways of thinking and doing. Would being wrong or momentarily naïve really be that bad?

The biggest innovators, the boldest thinkers and the changemakers walk this line every minute of the day. The path to the extraordinary isn’t safe. It’s not going to help you fit in. People will call you naïve, irresponsible and reckless.

I suggest you embrace that. Own it. Gain power from it. Use that adrenaline to change the world. Put love and relationship above all else, even when society berates you for it. Don’t settle for comfort. Comfort is boring.

Imagine what life would be like if we all bucked the systems bound by safety and the status quo. Imagine the innovation and possibility. Imagine the art.

Johnny Cash, Einstein and Gandhi walked that line and we loved them for it. Come to think of it, any time someone walks this line and succeeds, we praise them for it. But if they walk the line and fail, we say, “I told you so”.

The question then becomes, “Am I willing to risk my social status in order to experience a truly extraordinary life?” Of course the more important question would be “Am I willing to forgo an extraordinary in order to play it safe and fit in?”

Philanthropy is messy. It’s rare that you achieve exactly what you set out to accomplish. The process often involves a lot of frustration, tears, frustration and lack of resolve. Let’s face it; changing the world is no walk in the park.

And if you’re dealing with people, it’s likely they may not be grateful for your investment of time and care. It’s also likely they may choose not to implement your advice or properly utilize the resources you’ve provided.

You set out to achieve something, and then, boom; something completely illogical happens. Someone doesn’t show up. No one cared enough to finish or do it properly. Or worse yet, someone sabotages the program or robs you blind. It happens, often.

You ask yourself if you’re even doing any good. “Am I crazy? Doesn’t anyone care?”

But then I remember that I’m not doing this because of my strong desire to do something good. It’s not because I need a cool accomplishment to add to my collection I don’t do this for a pat on the back or gratitude. I don’t even expect those things. I don’t have anything to prove.

I don’t do what I do to “get results”. So often along the journey of pushing for a certain result, I will discover something even more beautiful and pure than what I was shooting for. And rather than being blinded by my ambition to achieve the original goal, I’m always open to that dynamic.

At the end of the day, I simply do this because I care. That’s enough. I care so much that I can’t stop trying. I can’t stop being an idealist. It doesn’t bother me when people think I’m naïve. When you have nothing to prove, the shackles fall off.

I just keep believing that if I care enough, and consistently listen and act, someone else will benefit from it. And when that’s the only goal, it’s easy to resolve to the fact that you don’t need resolution for a project to be successful You just keep pushing, knowing that somewhere along the way, someone is benefiting from the love you are giving, day in and day out.

If I constantly give love, I can’t go wrong. And I don’t need quantifiable results or an impressive P&L to experience joy from it. The joy comes from the giving. We have a right to giving. But that doesn’t mean we have a right to reaping the fruits of our labor.

The act of serving and giving has to be enough. Otherwise, it will never be…enough.

Society, as we know it, has almost always been based on a capitalistic foundation. Money is at the center of it all. It is interesting to me that the most paramount aspect of our society is man made. It’s not natural at all. Man created currency as a way to control other men, and somehow it’s become the central operating agent of society.

This is mind boggling. I would have hoped for something more natural and God given, as opposed to an arbitrary value we put on a piece of paper or metal.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe we can use capitalism and money to do good in the world, but that’s only because the world revolves around these elements. It’s a choice we make, to use this system for good.

All throughout history we can cite countless times when money, or lack there of, has caused serious devastation, corruption and death. Over thousands of years, man has built and fostered a society that revolves around a monetary system. It’s a system that intrinsically incorporates divisionism and fosters greed.

Have you ever wondered if maybe we built the wrong system? Think about it. The most prominent system in our world was built by humans in order to control other humans. And it’s carried out by arbitrarily giving value to a piece of paper or metal. This is what makes the world go round. Seems odd.

I’m fully aware that this sounds naïve and idealistic, but what if we had a system based on love instead? One where we valued life more than money? What if your frequency of kindness was the center of the value system?

To be honest, it’s almost unfathomable. How far have we gone down the road of selfishness, greed and dominance over others? Are we capable of operating within a new system? Are we capable of dissolving the one we’ve got?

If you put ten people on an island with nothing, I do believe it’s only a matter of time before someone assumes power and creates a monetary system that allows them to rule the rest. It just happens over and over because of man’s compulsion for power over others.

Money is necessary only because of our innate compulsion for power and control. Money is a produce of our selfishness. Yes, we can use it for good, but more in the same way that you can use a gun to protect someone.

I don’t have a solution or realistic alternative. This is just an observation along a continued journey to contribute to an egalitarian society.

With that in mind, the only thing a person can do is consistently value life over money. Stop doing things only for money. Stop thinking about the money and start thinking about your contribution to society. Stop valuing money over relationships.

Yes, I’m aware of how idealistic this (and most of my other philosophies) sound. But I will always stand by my belief that “we must be the change we want to see”, and we must exemplify love in all we do. It’s the only way.

I think it’s natural for anyone altruistic to continually seek higher forms of altruism.

Lately, as Ilea and I raise Francois, I realize more and more how important it is to invest in children. I believe the best way we can develop a more peaceful world is to raise up generations of children committed to living as vessels of love.

This led me to thinking more about the role of a mother. The more I thought, the more I realized the magnitude of her role. Mothers are our only source of life in this world. The only. Clearly something significant is represented there.

Despite endless knowledge of the life to come, a woman chooses to forego life as she knows it to carry a baby for 40 weeks. I cannot imagine what it must feel like, to carry a human in my belly. I honestly believe it is unfathomable for any man.

She knowingly and willingly chooses to go into labor and deliver this human from her body. She knows what is coming, yet she doesn’t abort. She endures the pain breathes life into the world. This is courage like I’ve rarely witnessed in the bravest of men.

She resolves to spending the rest of her life nurturing, teaching and guiding that child. And she does this knowing that she lives in a man’s world and that her role will often be thankless and unnoticed. But she presses on because her gratification comes not from her glorification, but from her compulsion to show love to her child. Her happiness is tied to theirs.

She spends her life serving her family, ensuring they are safe, cared for and know they are loved. And many more mothers are also the primary provider for the family. This is among the rarest and highest forms of dedication I know. It’s a lifelong commitment.

From conception to the end of that child’s life, mothering has the power to change the world more than any other altruistic act I can imagine. They have the power to create a human that proliferates love and incites peace. Can you think of anything more powerful than a world full of these types of people?

Mothers bring life into the world. We owe them our utmost respect.

I believe mothering is the pinnacle of altruism. If we want a more peaceful, egalitarian society, we should turn our focus towards teaching more effective mothering. If you want to contribute to a better world, start, join or support something that fosters more ethically and morally grounded mothering.

But the most important contribution we could make to society is to start valuing the role of a mother more than we do that of a military officer, politician, big business owner or celebrity. Being a mother should be the most valued and respected role in humanity.

I think it’s time we regarded the role of motherhood as the pinnacle of all altruistic endeavors. There simply is no more significant or profound role that a human could live out.

To all of the mothers out there, thank you for breathing life into this world and exemplifying altruism so profoundly. You challenge and inspire me.

I saw this image come across facebook right after Whitney Houston died, and it got me thinking.

When a celebrity like Johnny Cash, Michael Jackson, Mother Theresa or Gandhi dies, it rocks the world. Why? Because these people influenced our lives. They made profound contributions to society (some far greater than others). Each of these celebrities influenced my life in very significant ways. I celebrated their lives and mourned their deaths.

It is natural to value certain people’s lives more than others, and I think it’s warranted. I am far more connected to my family, friends and those that have influenced me than I am to a stranger. If they were gone, I would miss them more than a stranger.

People care about what touches their lives. We care about what we can relate to or what we respect or want to be. Charities and Aid organizations spend the majority of their fund raising hours trying to inspire people to value the lives of the poor the same as they do the lives of people in their sphere of influence and experience.

Starving children in developing countries are typically too far off people’s radar. Most people haven’t connected with them on any personal level, nor do they have any concept of their reality or the level of their struggles.

Society puts people in different boxes. Politicians over here, family over there, celebrities of here. Through years of conditioning and ever increasing lack of perspective, society has dehumanized the poorest of the poor. Somehow they have become “the poor”, rather than being viewed as people like you and I.

Therefor it becomes easier and easier to dehumanize them, or just to refer to them as….them.

Developed nations have a long history of creating coping mechanisms to accommodate their insatiable desire for comfort. Compartmentalizing has become an accepted habit. We’re conditioned into believing that its natural.

When people are starving, dying from disease, or being forced into slavery, it’s not a charity issue, it’s a humanity issue. We are all human.

Why is it so easy for most people to say, “that’s not my problem”? People do it when they walk down the street in their town, and when they hear of atrocities in Africa or South America.

As a general practice, I’m committing to being more cognizant of any tendencies I may have to devalue the life of anyone I don’t know personally. I’m looking deeper into people’s lives, seeking more and more understanding of their struggles. And I’m practicing grace more liberally.

I think about this when I experience a waiter, a clerk at the grocery, a street person or anyone else I don’t know personally. I especially think about this when I’m irritated with someone. I’m trying to soak in more of humanity, to be more accepting and understanding.

This is a valuable contribution to society that I can make daily. You can too. In fact, I think it’s a key component to fostering a more egalitarian society. And I hope that’s still the goal.

We all want to succeed at the endeavors we go after. Those passionate and caring enough to attempt something altruistic want it even more. Because it’s not just about self-serving success, it’s about improving or saving lives.

It’s natural, in any altruistic endeavor to long for that moment when we can sit back and say, “Finally, after all of the struggling, we have done something good.” We want resolution for the project, campaign or issue we set out to rectify. We want to know it was worth it; that we made a difference.

The desire for that resolution is good and pure. It drives us towards excellence. But you have to be able to recognize the value of your work outside of its completion. When you’re trying to cure HIV, stop hunger or eradicate extreme poverty, it’s not likely you’ll reach much resolution in your lifetime.

I’ve embraced the fact that life is a journey, not a destination. The same tends to also be true of development work. I’ve learned to find joy in recognizing that the journey is still very fruitful, even if you’re not reaching your intended goals or experiencing complete resolution.

When you’re on an altruistic path, you’re bound to cause a lot of good along the way, even when you’re “not there yet” and even after (or during) a failure.

If you care deeply for humanity, your work will never be done. You’ll always have those Schindler moments where you think, “I could have saved just one more”. Take solace in the fact that you are living a good life and effecting positive change around the world. Your commitment as a petitioner of love (the root of all good things) creates a profound ripple effect around the world, whether you notice or not.

I always take time to notice and appreciate the relationships that are created along the way in any project. Often, those relationships, and their consequent ripple effects, are more profound than that actual project. This is something worth noting.

Don’t let yourself get down for missing the mark. Along the road to your desired impact, don’t forget to notice all the good that happens along the way. Notice it and use it as fuel to do more.